He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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