Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
