I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize