yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
