Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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