You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
