You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
