Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize