so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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