On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
