sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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