I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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