im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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