I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Come back. Shots need mouths.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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