nut hugger
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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