This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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