She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
