How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize