I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
