it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize