I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
