My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
