Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
