At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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