It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
