you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
then he tried to convert me to islam
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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