butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
