So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
