I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
