dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
