Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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