i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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