Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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