Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
