i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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