I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
