I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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