You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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