Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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