what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
