I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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