The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
