soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize