i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
