Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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