Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this will be a night to untag.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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