Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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