so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
