i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
