you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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