I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
