And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
