But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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