she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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