all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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