You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize