I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
