I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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