i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
there is glitter all over my balls
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
