I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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