The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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