How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
