I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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