so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
