So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
