I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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