I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
