If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
