just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I would fuck him just for his dog
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