I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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