You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
