Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
