i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
