Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
