Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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