There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
